Relationships are hard work! Whether you’re talking about romantic relationships, sibling relationships, relationships with friends, colleagues and even acquaintances – all these forms of relationships bring with them difficulties, and relationship questions you’d like answering.
Well, I have good news for those of you looking for relationship advice online. There is an ‘easy solution’ to all your relationship woes, and that solution is YOU…
And that’s what this relationship article is going to be about. And, together with 3 quotes about relationships, we’re going to discover how WE – you and I – can improve our relationships by simply improving ourselves, and how we respond to life…
Relationship Quote #1:
“Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.” — Wayne Dyer
So let’s start with a basic truism about relationship problems. If we continue to think it’s the other person’s fault our relationship with that person is going to continue being a ‘problem’.
I know that life would be a whole lot easier if this other person (that you’re having relationship problems with) would one day just realise how foolish they’ve been, if they’d just ‘see the light’, and admit that they were wrong; that they’d just change their ways.
But it’s not going to happen any time soon, mainly because it’s just not true. It takes two to Tango, in any relationship. Which means, no matter if a relationship is going well or going badly, it’s both your ‘faults’.
And that’s what Wayne Dyer’s rather succinct quote about relationships reveals.
So STOP, stop looking at what the other person is doing wrong and START, start looking at what you could be doing better. Start looking at the relationship from the other person’s viewpoint – a little bit of empathy goes a very, very long way. Talking of which…
Relationship Quote #2:
“Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement…all success… all achievement in real life grows.” — Ben Stein
Yes, perhaps the whole point of relationships with others – romantic, or otherwise – is to show us ‘ourselves’, the good bits and the bad.
Of course it never looks like that, when we meet someone that we really do not like, that we argue with furiously. But these are the relationships we should treasure, he said counter-intuitively, because these are the relationships that are trying to reveal to us ‘secrets’ and ‘dark places’ that we’d rather not have revealed.
Relationships challenge us. And if we’re being honest, we know it’s NOT just because the other person is challenging. If we’re being honest – and being honest with yourself, and then with others, is a vital ingredient to having healthy relationships in your life – we know it’s because we have yet more to learn about life, and about ourselves.
That’s what ol’ Ben Stein means with his inspirational quote about relationships.
For when we recognise, then meet, then overcome our relationship challenges, then we grow as human beings, we grow…
Relationship Quote #3:
“The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.” — Neale Donald Walsch
Hmm, and when we stop looking outwards for help, start looking inwards again, then we can then become strong enough to not need to be in a relationship, then we can begin to enjoy our relationships like we never have before.
Strong, healthy relationships are about being open (vulnerable) to what life (and your relationships) want to bring you. You do not attach yourself to specific outcomes, instead you trust that whatever comes your way you are strong enough to fully embrace.
And then, then you can share your completeness with another, and life truly will feel all that it can be…
Openness, vulnerability, and truly ‘being seen’ – all of these states of being will help anyone, no matter how ‘advanced’ and ‘wise’ they are, have more fulfilling relationships.
But it all starts with recognising that a) blaming ‘the other’ is not the solution, b) relationships are meant to be challenging, to teach us about ourselves, and c) when we grow as human beings, the quality of our relationships grows likewise…
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# Bruce Muzik – Getting emotionally intimate
Emotional intimacy is a sense of closeness to another person; a real sense of two-way empathy. When we’re emotionally intimate, we can share personal feelings, display affection, and not be dismissed or judged harshly but accepted ‘in the round’.
I love the idea that a real friend “is one who can see straight through you and still enjoy the view.” And some romantic partners describe their special person as their ‘best friend’ – a perfect combination of physical and emotional intimacy.
Emotional intimacy can exist between friends, family relations, and lovers. Some people even feel emotional intimacy with their pet. There’s no doubt that a sense of shared intimacy is important for both mental and physical health.
So you have intimacy when you feel spontaneous, natural, and trusting they feel as connected to you. But it goes deeper than that.
# Emotional Intimacy Scale
The 5-item Emotional Intimacy Scale (EIS) is a scale which enables to evaluate the emotional intimacy in a relationship. Its goal is to predict the different outcomes produced by the existence of an intimate relationship.
This scale is created with a study of different items which are fundamental components of an intimate relationship. Some persons need to answer to a questionnaire. They answer to judge the degree of truth of each of these components in comparison with their actual situation. They are five of them:
1. This person completely accepts me as I am
2. I can openly share my deepest thoughts and feelings with this person
3. This person cares deeply for me
4. This person would willingly help me in any way
5. My thoughts and feelings are understood and affirmed by this person
# What can we do about it?
If we want to develop more emotional intimacy with someone, we ourselves need to become familiar with how we truly feel. How can we share our authentic feelings, wants and needs if even we are not aware of what they are?
The solution is to become consciously connected to the feelings we have pushed down and buried for so long, and to explore them more completely until they are well known to us.
Are you struggling to feel SAFE, SECURE and CONNECTED to to your partner?
Is your relationship falling apart?
If you feel alone, misunderstood, abandoned, rejected or stuck, I can help you.
Hi, it’s Bruce Muzik here.
I wanted to take a minute and introduce myself, and answer the question probably already in your mind: “Who is Bruce Muzik and why should I work with him to heal my relationship?”
At heart, I’m a romantic and have always been deeply fascinated with human behavior – particularly the bond that occurs between people in committed relationships.
A while back, I got to a point where I decided I needed to figure out how to make my romantic relationship last.
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Bruce Muzik – Emotional Intimacy Expressing Feelings and Emotions in Intimate Relationship